I arrived home at 11 p.m. I was extremely fatigued and did nothing to enhance personal hygiene and instead only made efforts to satiate myself by collapsing on my bed. I lay there for minutes until realizing I am completely congested and the aches were surging through my body, a reminder of the bacteria's effects on it. I got up and thought, "Please not now."
I retrieved Benadryl from my cabinet, believing that the fatigue created by the drug would somehow lull me into a state on non-consciousness. The pills had no effect, and the queasiness and pain began to grow more intense. Lying there in the dark, focused on nothing other than the malicious bacteria infecting my otherwise healthy body, making me weak and fragile. I noticed I could no longer make a full fist, and began to worry this was more than the run-of-the-mill Cold.
"What I really need is Valium," I thought.
I lay there until 5 a.m, restless and depressed at the mere thought of illness. I look upon myself in a mirror and notice I already look pale and gaunt, the circles under my eyes a sign of disabled state. I watch the news awhile, an activity that could never bring one to a state of peace. Fluff stories about cats in trees followed by stories of horrific crimes followed by biased political reporting all lend an heir of mania to my already sleep deprived and addled mind. I somehow manage a shower and walk to campus. I am a zombie, I need a doctor, I need to feel healthy, it's too damn hot, why now?
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